A/N: I usually post reviews on Fridays, but I was really excited about ending the movie part of The Breakfast Club before getting to what happened after. I also wanted to announce that Jasmine Ross now has her own TUMBLR account here! Be sure to follow her and ask her any questions you want!
I’m back and Allison’s waving the very piece of paper that can either make or break me. Andrew asked what it was and Allison answered that it was my transfer letter! I told Allison that it was mine and demanded that she give it back! I even tried grabbing the letter, but she held it out of my reach! I didn’t find this funny and I made sure to tell Allison that! Allison only muttered an uh-huh and you have no idea how badly I wanted to scream at her! Fortunately, my mom always told me that it’s white trash to scream in public, so I decided to appeal to Allison’s better nature and beg her not to reveal my secret, saying that I would never do that to her. Allison had a change of heart and extended the letter to me. Bender said that there needed to be less talking and more reading. He snatched the letter out of Allison’s hands and quickly scanned it over! Bender sounded almost impressed, but that doesn’t excuse him for reading my transfer letter! Claire wanted to know what it said, so Bender explained that, according to the letter, I didn’t come to Shermer by choice, I got expelled from my last school! Brian said that even Bender hasn’t been expelled, which Andrew and I both remarked “yet.” Hey, I was angry, don’t judge me! Then Bender, that fucking asshole, starts to read my letter out loud! “Jasmine was expelled from Dewey High, on the grounds of…”
They didn’t get to hear why I was expelled, as I told Bender to look out and pretended to point to something behind him. He turned around and fell for the oldest trick in the book as I snatched the letter out of his hand! I even told Bender that I can’t believe he fell for that. Bender said that at least the rumors were mostly true and was happy to know that I’m not a poser. I asked what Bender meant by mostly and he explained that he heard that I was a bitch, but it seems like I’m more of an asshole. I told Bender that I’d take that as a compliment. Brian asked what the difference was and Bender said that there’s a fine, but definite, distinction. Brian wanted to know what that distinction was. Bender called Brian a dweeb and told him that he doesn’t have time to get into the subtleties of derogatory diction with him right now because we’ve got bigger fish to fry! Then Bender asked me what my story was, practically demanding that I spill it! I told Bender the truth, if I screw up here, my next stop is military school. Brian seemed shocked and even said, “holy shit!” Claire asked if I was serious. Andrew agreed that my situation sucks. Bender said that it was better than prison. Andrew remarked that Bender’s never been to prison. Bender asked Andrew if he wanted to bet. I said that, whatever Military School is like, I don’t want to go and even said that it’ll be the end of me. Allison said that she knows why I got kicked out of my last school!
Andrew told Allison to give it a rest. Claire said that I’ll tell them if I feel like it. Brian asked Allison why she’s so freaking weird. Allison said that to conform is to die a slow death. I have to admit, even if Allison is grating on me, I kind of like that line. Claire asked Allison if she’s weird because she thinks not being weird is a slow death. Allison asked if we really want to know why she’s so weird. Brian said that he thinks it might shed some light. I told Allison that I like to think of it as finding out what makes her tick. Allison asked me if this was research for my next writing project. I finally just asked Allison what’s going on and if she’s okay. Allison jerked her head away and her eyes filled with tears. Then said that, if we really want to know why she’s so weird, then we can empty her bag on the table. I took the bait and emptied the bag, saying that this should be fascinating.
Allison handed me her bag and I dumped the contents onto the table seeing tons of stuff spill out like socks, underwear, a shirt, shampoo, toothpaste, tampons, a bus pass, a tarot card, a 45 record. I asked Allison if she always carried this much shit in her bag. She said that she does. I examined the bus pass, which was a one-way ticket to New York. I asked Allison if she wants to go to New York. She said maybe and that it depends. I asked her what it depends on. Allison said that it depends on how far she wants to get away from here. I looked at the tarot card, which was the death card. I asked Allison if she was trying to tell us something. Allison told me that it’s not what I think it means. I asked Allison what it means and she explained that it signifies endings, beginnings, transformation, and transition. Finally, I checked out the 45 record, which was a song called “Gotta Get Away” by The Blue Balls. Seems like everything in Allison’s bag is about getting away and I even pointed that out, asking Allison if that’s why she has all this stuff in her bag. She explained that you never know when you may have to bolt. Brian asked Allison if she’s going to be a shopping bag lady, sitting in alleyways and talking to buildings wearing men’s shoes and that kind of thing. Allison said that she’ll do what she has to do. Brian asked Allison if she’s saying she’d subject herself to the dangers of the Chicago streets. Allison said that she doesn’t have to run away and live on the street, she can run away and go to the ocean, she can go to the country, she can go to the mountains, she can go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan and then she turned to me. Then she asked me where I would run away to. I told Allison that I run away every day in my head to lands I create or other people created for me. I said that, considering the stories my mom told me about runaways, it’s the safer option. Allison told me to imagine running away from home forever, where would I go. I told her that, off of the top of my head, I’d probably take my mom with me and go somewhere fun like the circus or the amusement park. Allison asked me what job I would want and I said that I’d probably want to be an acrobat. Allison said that she would’ve guessed a clown. I told Allison that I’ll keep that in mind if I ever want to be Batman’s arch nemesis. Brian perked up at the mention of Batman. Then I asked Allison how bad her life can be if she’s seriously thinking about running away. She said that her home life is unsatisfying. I told Allison that everyone’s home lives are unsatisfying because, if it wasn’t, people would live with their parents forever. Though, now that I think about it, there are people who live with their parents forever, but I kept that to myself. Brian said that he thinks it goes beyond what we might consider normal, everyday unsatisfying. Allison seemed to take offense to what we said and told us to forget it, because everything’s cool! Then she wiped a tear for her face and started shoving everything back into her bag. What did we say that was so offensive? Whatever it was, I feel guilty about it. So I decided to be sympathetic and walked over to help Allison put stuff back in her bag. I asked Allison what was wrong at home, and if it was really that bad. Allison nodded and I guessed that it has something to do with her parents, which she admitted was the truth. I asked Allison what they do to her and she said that they ignore her. I told Allison that I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make light of her problems like that. I just squeezed her shoulder as tears filled her eyes. Allison just sighed and clutched her bag to her chest. Then she said that she has to get away, somehow, because, if she doesn’t, she’ll end up just like them. Andrew asked if we’re all going to end up like our parents. Claire said that she wouldn’t, not ever. Allison said that it’s unavoidable and it just happens. I said that maybe we can still fight this by being what our parents could have been instead of how they ended up. Allison said that it doesn’t work that way because, when you grow, your heart dies.
Bender just scoffed and said, “Who cares?” A mix of emotions passed Allison’s face as she said that she cares and then looked at me while she was crying her eyes out. I chose to be sympathetic to Allison and said that I care too. Bender gave a sarcastic “Oh please,” and asked what that even means! I tried to explain that it means and Allison finished by saying that our lives are going to suck, but at least we don’t have to go through that suck alone and then gave me a friendly smile. I told Allison that she’s wrong, we don’t have to end up like our parents if we don’t want to. I said that I know that I’m not going to end up like my mom.
It’s 2:53 pm and we’re all seated on the floor in a circle. Claire asked us what we would do for a million bucks. Andrew said that he’d do as little as he had to. Claire responded by saying that his answer was boring. Andrew asked Claire how he was supposed to answer. Claire explained that the idea is to search his mind for the absolute limit. Then Claire turned to me and asked if I’d drive to school naked. I told her that I’ve dreamed about driving to school naked, which perked Bender up. Claire then explained to me if I would drive to school naked in real life for a million bucks. I said that I would, but only if I was sure whoever offered the deal wouldn’t back out at the last minute. Claire said if the person was sincere, would I do it in winter? I said that a little frost bite is nothing compared to living in a giant mansion with servants to do everything for you. Then I told Claire that I’d even do it on school picture day. Bender asked me to prove it. I told him that as soon as he shows me a case with a million bucks, I will. Bender gave me a perverted grin. Well, he doesn’t find the idea of me being naked disgusting, so he must be somewhat attracted to me. Allison agreed with me but then said that she’d do anything sexual and she wouldn’t need a million dollars to do it either. Claire rolled her eyes and accused Allison of lying. Considering how little Allison’s parents pay attention to her, it’s not hard to believe that she might do some… questionable things for just the slightest bit of acknowledgment. Allison told Claire that she’s done everything there is, except for a few things that are illegal. Then Allison claimed that she’s a nymphomaniac. Claire called it a lie and Brian asked Allison if her parents were aware of this. Honestly, I doubt they even care. Allison said that the only person she’s told is her shrink. I asked Allison what they did when she told them and all she did was grin and say that he nailed her! I found myself proclaiming that her shrink is a fucking sicko! Claire agreed with me as she said it was gross because he’s an adult! Allison said that he’s married too, but I don’t care if he’s single. He should not be fucking a teenage girl! Claire asked Allison if she’s crazy, but I told her that the one we should be disgusted with is the shrink, not Allison! Brian said that she must be crazy if she’s screwing her shrink! Allison then turned to me and asked if I’ve ever done it! I told Allison that I don’t have a psychiatrist, but I did see a school counselor once. I explained that all that happened was I burst into tears and he handed me tissues. Then Allison clarified that she meant if I’ve ever done it with anyone. Allison said that it’s a double-edged sword, and I asked her what she meant. Allison said that, if you say you haven’t, you’re a prude, if you say you have, you’re a slut. Then Allison asked me if I’m a tease. I said that I don’t see why we have to be defined by whether we have or haven’t done it. Bender said that it means I’m a slut! I angrily told Bender that I’m not! Then he remarked that he’d say I’m a prude but I did say that I’d walk to school naked, so I’ve got to be a tease! I insisted that I’m not a tease but I’m not a prude either, I’m just me! Bender said that I’ve gotta be a tease, I just said that I haven’t done it with anyone and, the way I look, I’ve got to be a tease. I felt my face turn red, but I don’t know if it was from anger or embarrassment. I admitted that I can’t be a tease because no one at my old school even looked at me, all of their eyes were on my sister and the guys that did were more interested in using me to get to her! Bender scoffed, accusing me of lying, but I told him that I wasn’t lying! Then he remarked that my sister must have been one smoking hot babe if they were ignoring me for her and now I’m back to wanting to punch Bender’s lights out! Bender then remarked that I would be a slut if anyone gave me the option. I told Bender that it depends on who’s giving me the option! Allison got bored with me and turned to Claire, asking about her. Claire turned the question around to Allison, asking her if it bothers her to sleep around so much without being in love.
Then she asked Allison if she wants respect. Allison said that she doesn’t screw to get respect, claiming it’s the difference between her and Claire. Bender then turned to Claire and called her a tease, to which Claire angrily said that she’s not a tease! Bender said that Claire is because she said it herself, sex is a weapon and you use it to get respect. Claire said that she never said that and Allison twisted her words around. Bender asked Claire what she uses sex for and she screamed in frustration. Claire then said that I’m right, we shouldn’t have to be defined by whether or not we’ve had sex. She admitted that she doesn’t use it, period and she’s never even done it! All of us exchanged a silent look and I’ll admit that I couldn’t believe it! The Princess of Shermer High was a virgin? Tanya was the princess at my last school and she was far from a virgin as can be, though I’ve heard her admit that she hates having sex so I think she actually does use sex as a weapon. Allison finally admitted that she’s never done it either and she’s not a nymphomaniac, she’s a compulsive liar and she grinned again. Claire and I both got angry at Allison and called her a bitch! Claire added that she did that just to screw us over! Andrew said that we’re just pissed off that she got us to admit something we didn’t want to. Brian admitted that he hadn’t done anything either. I told Brian that it’s cool and there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. Brian said not to get him wrong, because he totally wants to do stuff, he just hasn’t exactly had a ton of opportunities. I told Brian to just give it time, it’ll happen. While silently thinking that I hope it will also happen for me one day. I didn’t say that out loud for fear that Bender and Allison will tease me again, the former volunteering himself. Bender told Brian that he’s sure there’s some nerdette out there just waiting to tickle his fancy.
I remarked that there are worse things in the world than being a virgin. Bender scoffed and asked me what I meant by that. I asked Bender if it’s better to be buried alive, but he said that my remark sounded a bit more personal like it was something that happened to a member of my family. I asked Bender what he could possibly know about my family that wasn’t in my sketch. Bender explained that, when Dick came over to tell them why I wouldn’t be in the library, he said that I came from bad stock but wouldn’t say what it was. I gave a frustrated sigh, of course Vernon would hold something like that against me. Bender asked me what it was and I told Bender that I’d make a deal, as soon as I die I’ll haunt him at night and tell him what it is. Bender remarked that he’s never fucked a ghost before and I’m giving this guy a look asking him how it was that he could find the perversion in everything. Bender shrugged and told me that it’s a gift. I rolled my eyes and said that I’m not sure if I’d call it a gift. Bender said that it must be one terrible secret I’m keeping if I’m that determined to keep it, even speculating that it might be in my diary! I told Bender that, if he reads it, he dies! Bender said that it’d be worth it and I responded that it wouldn’t because I didn’t write about the incident in there! Bender smirked and said that there’s no reason for me to not let him read it then! It’s bad enough being on the receiving end of Bender’s perversion now, imagine how much worse it will be if he found out what I wrote in there about him! I finally said that my half-brother, Ken’s, a registered sex offender, hushing everyone in the room, even Bender! I quickly explained that it’s not as bad as they think, the girl had a fake ID of 21 but it was still embarrassing and it broke up Ken’s first marriage, or one of his many engagements, I can’t remember.
Andrew just gave a shy look around the group. Then he asked us if we know what he did to get in detention. Andrew admitted that he taped some guy named Larry Lester’s buns together. Claire laughed while Brian asked if that was Andrew. Then he asked Brian if he knew how hairy this Larry guy was. Then Andrew explained that, when they pulled the tape off, most of his hair came off and some skin too. I cringed at the mental image that gave me and Claire sounded just a horrified as I was. Andrew just shook his head as I asked him why he did it. He explained that he did it for his old man, torturing that poor kid because he wanted his dad to think he was cool. I asked Andrew what his friends thought and he said that they just laughed and cheered him on, like it was some high school movie where the nerdy hero gets tormented by the jerk jocks but, the way Andrew said that it was for his dad, I had to know what he meant. So I asked Andrew what was up with his dad and why he wanted him to hurt that poor kid. Andrew explained that his dad’s always going off about when he was in school and all the wild things he used to do. Andrew said that he always got the feeling that his dad was disappointed that he never cut loose on anyone. Then Andrew started getting really emotional and explained that he wailed on Larry because his father hates weakness and Andrew admitted that he hates his father and then started mimicking him! He did this imitation of his father as this asshole pressuring Andrew into being number one and how he won’t tolerate any losers in their family!
Andrew admitted that sometimes he wishes his knee would give and he couldn’t wrestle anymore so his dad would forget all about him. Bender clapped his hand on Andrews shoulder and suggested that their dads get together and go bowling. I remarked that my dad could join them, fuck with somebody’s else’s heads for a change. Then I started thinking about the high school movies the situation reminded me of, how we’re all supposed to sympathize with the skinny nerd while wishing the jerk jock would jump off of a cliff. We never stop to ask ourselves what made the jock a jerk in the first place, how they can be so mean to that poor nerd and how they manage to sleep at night.
I changed the subject by asking Bender what he did to get detention. He asked me which one I meant and I realized that I had to be more specific. So I told Bender that I’m talking about the one we’re having right now. Bender asked me if I remembered that fire alarm that we had on Friday. Brian asked Bender if that was him. Bender said that he thought that he’d try to start the weekend a little early and he didn’t think that those freshmen dweebs who saw him were going to narc. Bender joke that, maybe next time, he’ll just start a real fire. I snarked to him that I think that’s the lesson to be learned here. Though, honestly, I wonder if he wants to get Saturday detention so he doesn’t have to stay at his awful house.
Then I asked Claire what she did to get detention. She told me that she ditched class to go shopping. Andrew seemed disappointed and, honestly, I’m with him on that one. Though, in all reality, what I did to get detention isn’t exactly a hair raising story either, not like Andrew’s. His will be a tough one to top. Anyway, Claire said that she shouldn’t even be here. Bender snarked that the rules don’t apply to Queenie. Claire told Bender to shut up.
Next, I asked Allison what she did to get detention. It must be something awesome, enough to give Andrew’s story a run for his money! Allison admitted that she didn’t do anything, she just didn’t have anything better to do. Okay, I take that back but it did make everyone laugh. Allison accused us of laughing at her but I explained that we were laughing with her. At least, I tried to, but I burst out laughing mid-sentence and Allison ended up laughing with us.
Finally, I asked Brian what he did to get detention. No offense to Brian, but he seems too… rule abiding to be here. Maybe he got pressured into doing something he didn’t want to do? Turns out everyone else was wondering the same thing. Brian said that it’s because he’s stupid and he’s failing shop. He explained that they had this assignment to make this ceramic elephant lamp. Then said that, when you pull the trunk, the light was supposed to go on but his light didn’t go on. Brian admitted that he thought shop would be an easy way to maintain his grade point average. I remarked that I always saw Shop as an easy way to lose a limb. He said that he turned out to be wrong, because he got an F. Bender asked Brian why he thought it would be easy in the first place. Brian asked us if we’ve seen some of the dopes who take shop. Bender angrily said that he takes shop and, in all honesty, I don’t blame him for being angry right now. Bender then told Brian that he must be a fucking idiot. Brian asked if he was a fucking idiot because he can’t make a lamp. Bender remarked that he’s a genius because he can’t make a lamp. Brian asked Bender what he knew about Trigonometry and Bender said that he could care less about trigonometry. Brian said that, without trigonometry, there’d be no engineering. Bender responded by saying that, without lamps, there’d be no light. Claire said that neither one of them is any better than the other one. I added that Claire’s right, they both make good points. Then I told Brian that I still don’t get how he got detention. Brian hid his head in his arm and then explained that he got detention because Mr. Ryan found a gun in his locker!
Oh my God, he was either going to murder someone or commit suicide! I immediately dismissed the former and asked if he was going to hurt himself with that gun. Brian actually had to think about it and he was silent for a long time, confirming my worst fears as he started to shake and wipe the tears from his eyes! He said that he tried, you pull the freaking trunk and the light’s supposed to go on but it didn’t. Again, I asked Brian what the gun was for. Brian explained that he can’t have an F and he knows that his parents can’t have it! He said that, even if he aced the rest of the semester, he’s still only a B and everything’s ruined! I didn’t know what to think about this! Claire shared my horror as Brian bashed his arm against a chair! Brian said that he considered his options, but killing himself is not an option and Claire agreed with me! Brian said that he didn’t do it, but the thought that he nearly did! I asked Brian if it was a hand gun. Brian explained that it was a flare gun and it went off in his locker. Honestly, I felt relieved and I think Andrew felt the same way as he started laughing. Brian said that it wasn’t funny but we all laughed, probably thinking that it’s lucky that the gun went off in his locker before he had the chance to use it. Brian even agreed that it was funny and admitted that the fucking elephant was destroyed and he laughed along with us.
Now it was my turn as Brian asked me what happened at my last school. I told them that nothing could be as bad as having a sex offender for a brother, so it’s time to come clean. I admitted that I got kicked out because I spray painted something on the school wall. Brian asked me what it was and I said that it was a smiley face. Bender found it hard to believe that I got kicked out for a smiley face. I explained that it had the principal’s name underneath and a dick coming out of its mouth. Bender said that it’ll do it. I said that the principal totally deserved it. Then my face fell as I admitted that it’s what my so-called friends told me. Claire said that I thought I was a loner at my last school. I admitted that I was, but it wasn’t by choice and admitted that my sister, Tanya, was the princess at my high school and she went out of her way to make my life miserable. No one wanted anything to do with me so that they didn’t piss off Evil Queen Tanya. Then I explained that, finally, a group wanted to hang out with me who hated Tanya as much as I did. I said that I was so excited to belong that I did whatever they say, whether I was for it or against it I looked Bender in the eye and told him it was how I’ve tried tofu and soy beans. Then I bitterly told them that, when I got caught, they bailed on me and I had to face the Principal alone. Andrew asked me what she did to make me and my friends hate her so much, and I said that she took away our off-campus privileges just to be a bitch. I told them that it’s what happened and now this is my last chance because, if I screw up here, it’s off to Calvin Military Academy. I admitted that wasn’t even the worst part. Claire asked me what was the worst part. I said that my mom was driving me home after I got expelled. She screamed at me and I remembered what she said. I imitated my mom as I remembered what she said to me in the car, my eyes starting to water. “How the fuck could you do this, Jasmine? I’d expect something like this from Ken or Tanya, but you were supposed to be the white sheep! Do you have any idea how much shame you brought to our family? No, I don’t want to hear a fucking peep out of you! Your father’s always said you were a lost cause, your grandfather said I was too lenient with you and now I’m starting to think they’re both right! So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to live with your grandfather, go to Shermer High and get your fucking life together or, so help me God, you’ll be at the Calvin Military Academy! No, you don’t talk to me and you don’t even look at me! I don’t want to see your face!” Bender remarked that it didn’t sound like my mom loved me all that much. I told Bender to shut up and he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about! Bender said that my mom didn’t even fucking listen to me and sent me to my grandpa the first chance she got! I said to Bender that my mom trusted me, believed in me and I let her down! I quietly adding that I fucking let her down. Then I told them that my asshole dad had to rub salt in my wounds. I imitated Dad with a loving voice and recalled every word he said to me, the tears falling out of my eyes. “Jasmine, I say this because I care about you. You might as well sign up for Calvin Military Academy right now because you will fuck up at Shermer High just like you fuck up in life.” I admitted that I still hear my dad right now, loud and clear and he’ll never fucking go away. Then I started saying that maybe Allison’s right, we do end up like our parents. Allison asked me what made me change my mind and I said that, before my mom met my dad, she had dreams, ambitions but then she fell in love with my dad and, everytime my mom wanted to pursue something greater, my dad would say the same thing to her that he says to me, “I say this because I love you, don’t try because you’ll fuck it up.” I said that, little by little, my mom got manipulated like that but she was so in love she couldn’t even see it. Now he’s fucking silenced her and he’s silencing me. Then I’ll end up married to some manipulate asshole just like him, getting my spirit crushed until there’s nothing left. Andrew and Brian both looked at me, as if they could understand what I was going through. I suppose they could, they both had manipulative parents that were controlling them and, in a way, the same thing was happening to them. Bender said that I should just fucking silence my asshole dad! I told Bender that it’s not that easy because, in case he forgot, my head is my dad’s summer home! Bender told me to just kick him out! I asked Bender if he knows what it’s like to have someone mess with your mind like a toy? Bender snapped at me and said that he’s only a punching bag, what a relief! I told Bender that I’m not saying my life is worse than his, I’m just saying that he has no idea what it’s like to have someone constantly fucking with your head to the point that you don’t know what’s real anymore! Bender said that he’ll tell me what’s fucking real, my asshole dad’s in Detroit and I’m in Shermer! I told Bender that my dad’s not the only one silencing me, there’s also the teachers who gave me Fs because they didn’t think Carrie was a real book or I gave answers to essay questions that they didn’t like! I said that I once got an F on Hamlet because I suggested that the king that died was the evil king instead of his brother! Bender asked me why I give a fuck what they think! I said that the hippie group gave me the illusion of freedom, but made me do everything they did and then bailed on me! Bender said that they’re fucking assholes! Then I pointed out that my grandpa plans on sending me to Military School if I fuck up at Shermer, which would destroy everything unique about me! Bender told me not to fuck up here! Finally, I pointed out that Vernon was doing the exact same thing, destroying each of our voices and leaving us as empty shells, pointing out that he’s even silencing Bender! Bender seemed taken back by what I said and I pointed out that he’s the one who told me we can’t go to the Principal about Vernon! Bender said that it hasn’t stopped him from showing Dick up and he thought that it didn’t stop me! Andrew told Bender to leave me alone, but I told Andrew that Bender’s right. If I don’t want to end up speechless like my mom, then I can’t let people run me down like this. I looked around at the rest of the group realizing that their situations might be different but we all had one thing in common, we were trapped. Claire with her rich narcissistic parents who used her as a pawn in their games. Allison with neglectful parents who didn’t care if she existed. Brian with parents who had standards so unreasonable that they’d drive the poor boy to suicide. Andrew with his stage dad using his son to relive his glory days. Then there was Bender, who was trapped worse than any of us with parents who criticized him and used him as a punching bag, Saturday detention being his only means of escape. Last but not least was me, ruled by a narcissistic asshole who manipulated his own family into becoming extensions of himself. I told the rest of the group with a newfound determination that none of us can.
3:15 pm and we’re all still lounging on the floor, counting the minutes until four. I asked if anyone had a weird skill. Allison said that she can write with her toes and she can also eat and brush her teeth with them as well as play Heart & Soul on the piano. Brian said that he can make spaghetti. I asked Andrew what he can do and he said that he can tape all of our buns together, something we all laughed at. Bender said that he wanted to see what Claire can do and she said that she can’t do anything. Bender told her that everyone can do something. Claire said that there’s one thing she can do, but we have to swear that we won’t laugh. Then remarked that she can’t believe she’s actually doing this. Claire took out a tube of lipstick and put it between her breasts, applying the lipstick from her cleavage. She lifted her head to show us that the lipstick was perfectly applied. Andrew asked Claire where she learned to do that and she said that it was in camp in the seventh grade. Claire turned to me and asked what I can do. I told them that I can stay up for twenty-four hours straight. Bender said that I must have some good shit. I said that the only drug I have in my house is caffeine.
Then Brian asked what’s going to happen to us on Monday. I asked Brian what he meant and he explained that, when we’re all together again, he considers us his friends. Then asked if he was wrong. Andrew said that he wasn’t, but Brian still asked what happens on Monday. Claire asked if Brian meant that we’ll all still be friends, which Brian confirmed. There was an awkward silence but I chose to be optimistic by saying that, after today, how could we not be friends? I said that’s usually how it works out in the movies. Then I asked if we can really go back to the way it was. Claire said that we could. I told Claire that I don’t think so! Andrew even called Claire out on her bitchiness! Claire defended herself by asking Andrew what he would do if Brian walked up to Andrew in the hall on Monday! Then finished for Andrew by saying that he would say hi and, when Brian left, Andrew would cut him up so his friends wouldn’t think that he really liked him! Andrew said that he wouldn’t do that! Allison asked Claire what she would do if she came up to her! Claire said that she’d do the exact same thing! I asked Claire if she would treat me just like Tanya did at my old school. Claire said that she wouldn’t go out of her way to single me out, but the principle would still be the same. Bender called her a bitch and I agreed with him! Claire asked why she was being a bitch, because she’s telling the truth? Bender told Claire that it’s because she knows how shitty that is to do to someone! Brian said that he wanted to tell each one of us that he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t and he will not! Claire said that his friends wouldn’t mind because they look up to her! I got so fed up with Claire’s bullshit and stuck up for Brian by telling Claire that she’s a conceited bitch and asked why she’s so fucking full of herself!
Claire claimed that she wasn’t saying that to be conceited and that she hates having to go along with everything her friends say! I told Claire that the whole reason I got expelled was because I went along with whatever my so-called friends said! Then I asked Claire why she would want to keep her fake friendships when she has real friends right now! Claire said that it’s the rules of cliques and I told her that the rules are wrong! Claire remarked that it was so easy for me to say because I just moved here and didn’t have an established clique!
3:33 pm and we’re all worn out from the day and watching the clock tick towards four. I asked Brian if he was going to write his paper. He said that he was and asked me why I asked him. I told Brian that it’s a waste for all of us to write our paper. Brian said that it’s what Vernon wants us to do. I admitted that Brian was right, but I think we’d all say the same thing. Brian accused me of not wanting to write my paper and I gave him a mischievous smile, admitting that my writing is more creative than academic. Then I told Brian that we trust him. Brian glanced at the rest of us who just gave him a nod of approval and he beamed with pride. Brian agreed to write the paper and I thanked him for it. Then Claire stared at me, as if she was sizing me up. I asked her what she was doing and Andrew explained that Claire’s in makeover mode. Claire said that she can work wonders with anybody’s look but she does her own styling. Claire bragged that she also came up with Andrew’s new hairstyle. Bender asked what it looked like before. Andrew told Bender to shut up. Allison told Andrew that she thinks his hair looks great, which Andrew thanked her for while Claire and I gave each other a knowing look. She still kept her focus on me and said that I’ve got a solid foundation but she has some great ideas on how to make me look even hotter than I already am. Then asked me if I wanted to upgrade my look.
The princess of Shermer High wants to give me a makeover? How could I say no? Claire was really excited and said that it would be so much fun! Then she told Allison that she’s coming too! Allison was a little confused, but Claire insisted that she join us! She grabbed Allison’s arm and the three of us headed off to the restroom! Claire applied eye makeup to Allison, telling her not to be afraid. Allison told Claire not to stick that in her eyes. Claire said that she’s not sticking it, then told Allison to close her eyes and demonstrated. Allison followed Claire’s lead and, after Claire was done, she admired her work and continued with the makeover. I told Allison that she looks great either way, but her new style is wow! Allison thanked me and said I was sweet but she still liked her old style better. Claire told Allison that Andrew doesn’t and we exchanged knowing glances. Allison asked what Andrew had to do with this and Claire told Allison not to play dumb because she’s seen the way she looks at him. It pained me to say it, but I asked Claire about the sexual tension between her and Bender and how you can cut it with a knife. Claire asked me what I was talking about and Allison teased Claire that she knows exactly what I’m talking about. Claire’s face turned bright red as she insisted that she can’t stand him and then asked if we think he likes her. It was Allison’s turn to exchange a knowing glance with me. Claire just said “What-ever,” and shifted her attention to me, saying that it’s my turn. She told me that the secret is not to go overboard and that less is more. Claire worked her makeover magic on me and I asked her where she got those awesome outfits! Claire told me that she found out where the drama department keeps their extra costumes. After changing clothes, I decided to show off my new look! Allison said that I look amazing! Claire said that it could be her most successful makeover ever! Then she said that we should do see what everyone else thinks.
3:50 pm and I feel great! I made a grand entrance and unveiled my new look to the rest of the group!
You wouldn’t believe this, but I made all of the guys’ jaws drop! Brian said that I look amazing. Andrew agreed with Brian. Even Bender, who said that he’s not really in the compliments business, said that I look smoking! I thanked them all and said that it was all Claire. Claire said that an artist can’t work her magic without a great subject. Then Allison made her entrance from the back room and Andrew looked stunned! It’s still Allison, but she’s no longer the dark, moody, closed-off girl. She seems light and, dare I say it, more open. Allison walked past Brian and the look of shock on his face earned a glare from her. Brian just changed his expression to a big grin, letting Allison know the makeover was a success. Allison smiled and silently mouthed the words “Thank you.” Andrew asked Allison what happened to her and she said that Claire did it. Then Allison asked Andrew what’s wrong, probably worried that he didn’t like her new look. Andrew told Allison that nothing’s wrong, it’s just that her new look’s so different. Andrew remarked that he can see Allison’s face. Allison asked if that was good or bad. Andrew just laughed and said that it’s good. Allison smiled at Andrew as their hands brushed together.
Over at the table, Brian tapped his pencil as if he were in deep thought. I asked him how it’s going and he said that he’s almost done, but there’s just one more thing. Brian told me that he came up with a description for each of us, kind of like the way Vernon sees us without really seeing us. Brian said that he’s the Brain, Andrew’s the Athlete, Allison’s the Basket Case, Claire’s the Princess, and Bender’s the Criminal. Brian then claimed that the only one he has left is me, so he thought that he’d let me decide what I wanted to be called. I thought about how Vernon saw me as this rebellious good for nothing troublemaker and I thought “why not give him what he wants?” So I told Brian to call me The Troublemaker and then remarked that it was too lame. I remembered Bender’s words from earlier when I told them about my dad and told Brian to call me The Rebel because I’m not going to let society, or the people around me, define who I am. Brian nodded with approval and went back to work. Then I remembered what my counselor said about finding opportunities all around me and I realized that I’ve been living one! Five high school stereo-types holed up in one room, each of us slowly revealing that we were more than our labels! I asked Brian if he could make a copy of that essay for me. Bender told me to get back to the classroom before Brian could ask why I wanted to see the essay. Bender explained that Vernon’s going to be coming for me soon. I reminded Bender that he needed to get back to his closet. Claire thanked me once again for saving all of them. Andrew said that they all owe me one. Allison agreed with Andrew. I told them that I’ll see them on Monday with the exception of Brian and said that I would explain the essay to him later. Bender asked me if I needed a boost back into the vent and I said that I did, thanking him for it. Bender and I headed back to the second floor and took one last look at the library before leaving. I said that it was a pretty good day, which Bender found weird. Bender helped me onto the bookshelf and, from there, I pulled myself back into the ceiling vent.
4:07 pm and I’m back into the empty classroom, waiting for the dragon to release me. He finally entered and asked if that was what I was wearing earlier. Yay, now’s my chance to gaslight him! I insisted that it was and Vernon said that he’s sure that I wasn’t. I told Vernon that I’ve been wearing this all day and said that he might want to take some vacation days because it sounds like he’s overworked. The dragon gave me a confused look and told me that I was free to go and that Brian wrote an essay for us. Then he said that he hoped I learned something today. I told Vernon that I learned a lot and he asked me what exactly I learned. I told Vernon that labels are for clothes, not people and that I won’t be silenced. I got up and walked past Vernon, free of him and his prison. I left Vernon standing alone with the essay while wondering if Brian managed to make a copy. As I headed down the hall, I saw the rest of the gang standing in front of the library. I asked them if they really waited for me. Claire said that of course they did. Andrew asked if I thought they were animals. Brian said that, technically, we are animals, but he did promise that he’d hand me a copy of the essay. Allison called Brian a nerd. Bender told Allison not to call him that, which Brian thanked him for, but Bender said that Brian’s a dork not a nerd and gave Brian a playful smirk. Andrew said that we should get out of here. I grabbed my copy of Brian’s essay and thanked him for this. Then told everyone that I’ve got to grab my stuff and I’ll see them later. I stepped into the library as the rest of the crew headed outside. I started packing up my stuff when I heard the sound of footsteps outside, causing me to look up. I was expecting Vernon but, thankfully, it was Bender. He told me not to get up on his account. I told Bender that I was just getting ready to leave. Bender told me not to rush and it’s not like I’ve been in this school all day. I asked Bender why he was here and joked if he missed me. Bender made a big show of shrugging and said that maybe he did and maybe he was hoping that we could see more of each other. I told Bender that I’d like that. Bender said that he figured I would, so that’s why he stopped in here, since he’s all about giving the people what they want. I told Bender that we have that in common and laughed. He took out a piece of paper and a pen and said that he wanted to give me his phone number! Then Bender told me not to worry about calling since his old man never answers the phone. He wrote his number on the paper and handed it to me! I felt my heart pounding like mad but calmed myself down long enough to give Bender my number, which he tucked into his wallet! Bender said it was cool and then asked me what Brian handed to me. I told Bender that it was a copy of the essay, nothing all that huge. Bender just shrugged and asked if I heard about Stubbie’s party tonight. I told him that I did and he said that he might be there, just to check it out and see if it’s as crazy as everyone claims! Then he said that maybe he’d see me there! Okay, did I just get asked out on a date, a real date? I thought Bender liked Claire! Anyway, I grabbed my belongings and left.
I walked down the steps in front of the school and caught sight of Claire and Bender sharing a kiss, causing a little pang in my heart but I knew I didn’t stand a chance against her. Though, for a moment, I locked eyes with Bender and I could’ve sworn I felt a connection. No, I got friend zoned again and I have to live with it. I turned away and saw Andrew and Allison kissing too, that actually bringing a smile to my face. I stood in the parking lot, waiting for my grandpa to pick me up and reflected on the day. I admit, it was definitely not what I expected. Though I couldn’t help but wonder if Stubbie’s party will be as crazy as they say. I knew that there was only one way to find out. I read the essay Brian wrote and thought about how this whole day could be a novel, or maybe a movie. One that actually challenged the stereo-types of high school rather than following them and this essay was the perfect ending. So it’s only natural that I put it in my diary.
Dear Mr. Vernon,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But, we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is… A brain… and an athlete… a basket case… and a princess… a criminal… and a rebel. Does that answer your question?
The Breakfast Club
I saw Bender punch his fist up in the air and I smiled to myself, imagining the look on Vernon’s face when he reads this.
A/N: So ends the movie and, next chapter, we’re going into what happens after the movie. Believe it or not, I was inspired by Speechless from the live-action Aladdin when I wrote some of this chapter. I think of it as Jasmine Ross’s theme song, which is why I changed her name to Jasmine.